Thursday, April 2, 2009

Dear Deqlan

To the most beautiful, courageous, lovable, precious miracle, Deqlan
On this day where people celebrate World Autism Day, we wanted to write you a letter that you would read later down the line, but know & understand the significance of it then.
I know we tell you each day how very proud we are of you, never ever forget that. We thank God every day for you, beautiful gorgeous sugar pie, honey bun , Deqlan Ross - our miracle.
We love so much about you - as you get older there maybe some people who dont understand why you do the things you do, but i hope when can help you realise that the only person you need to worry about pleasing is God.
We feel so blessed and priviliged for all that you do and all that you are and that you helped God in choosing us to be your parents, so we are the ones that should be thanking you!
We love the passion you have for your trains, especially for Thomas, we share your passion and excitment with you and cant wait to see your face as we show you the new Thomas we found or watch you smile as you see Thomas pulling people, pineapples, presents and a piano on a way to a party!
We wait for the sound of your Winnie the pooh Train, to know that you are playing and enjoying yourself to the max !
We cant help but laugh and smile when we catch you stomping on the pool table or the dining room table, and laughing with you when we say nnooooo.
Bed time isnt bed time unless you are opening and closing the cupboard doors waiting for Dada and I to say nnooo and giggle and run to give me a hug.
Waking up is the best start to any day, to have you either tap my cheeck or sit on my chest and bounce up and down till i open my eyes.
Rocks and sand have more value then the most expensive toy to you and we all have joined in making this passion of yours as safe and as enjoyable as possible.
We dont mind picking you up 100 times a day to change the dvds you love so much, even though some only make 1 or 2 minutes of viewing - thanks Deqlan my arm muscles are definitely toning! We wait eagerly for you to turn the dvd the right way around, so that the writing on the dvd makes 'sense' to you.
We love watching you inteligently go to each model of car, examinging the logo and touching the tyres - you probably know a whole lot more already then we will ever know about these moving metal transporters.
I laugh with glee watching you feel the sand through your hands, and ears and hair and fingers and toes
I celebrate that you love water so very much and the delight that you get from each drop and trickle that you taste with your mouth and splash all over your self.
Your fascination with books and the specific pictures you continue to go back to , make us smile, cause we know which ones are your favorites!
To hear you trying so hard to say the words that you know but are still learning to get out of your little mouth - this week alone, we are certain you have said , MORE, AGAIN AND GO - what music to our ears.
My favorite thing at the moment, is when you push Dad and I down onto the floor and push us together to hug each other and then run a few steps back and laugh at how we look hugging each other.
We are fascinated learning your new favorite thing every week, from serviettes, to packaging, to a picture in your Percy book- how delightful that so many wonderful and amazing and inspiring things catch your eye
The smile when you see Nanna when we arrive at her house in the morning, tells her you say Hello and I love you in one moment, no words needed!
The way you run to Grandpa when you have stacked your rings on their stand and what and delight and jump for joy in his cheering for you.
The way you drag Grandpas hand to get him to put you in the jacuzzi!
How you pull Nanna with you when you are running in the courtyard and you want her to get you on your marks, get set, go!
You looking at Meggie this week when she called your name and even giving her a smile!
The same with Nats! I was so proud!
The way you and Keaton play 'together' even though you do your own thing, Keaton continues to have a ball with you - i think you are figuring this whole playing thing out and you are defnitely understanding the some things could be more fun with a friend.
The way you smile at Logan when you realise she has come to visit for the weekend.
The excitment in your entire being when i tell you Dad is home and you can not wait to wrap yourself around him and just be with him, even when he is brushing his teeth you need to just be with him.
The beautiful sounds you make which people dont understand , but we celebrate each sound and make them with you!
Its delightful to watch you go to the microwave and press the button when you are trying to tell me you want some rice milk!
The joy you get from sucking on your toothpaste tube and chewing the plastic to your heart and mouths delight!
How you laugh when Conrad hangs you upside down and tickles you!
How a complete stranger is some times your best friend and you try to get them to play in your little game of lineup !
How the sea is the best place in the world for you, you could sit and play with the sand and roll in the water for days on end
We are delighted to see all the lights coming on in your eyes - the way you watch my mouth as i say specific words, showing me how hard you are trying to learn and understand.
How you will try and eat the some times bland and boring everything free food you are on, and even though it tastes not so good to me, you seem to enjoy it and tell me, its ok mom , its not that bad!
Your touch when you sit behind me and pull me against you to feel the deep pressure you crave is one of the most beautiful gifts to feel you hugging me
You have started saying Ma ma in a different way then before, and you look at me when you say it, and in a softer way - i want to cry its so beautiful.
Thank you to you all who continue to support us and help us - Mom and Dee, there are no words for all you do for us and especially for Deqlan, you are the reason we can shape Deqlan into who Our Lord wants him to be, you are the reason we are going to get him through the window - just know that Deqlan loves you more then words - i know you know it and you can feel it in his hugs and kisses and laughs. Meggie and Conrad and Keaton for trying so hard to understand and going out your way to help our baby boy and for reading and researching , Conrad, you are amazing.
Loggie, hang in there my love, Deqlan is going to start playing with you sooner then you think!
Thank you to you all for everything. I wish I could mention each and everyone of you, but you know you have been part of the journey and i know will continue to be. All the calls, the prayers, the articles you send us, the ideas you give us. Please never ever stop the prayers for Deqlan to remain NED for Deqlan to come through the window.
Thank you to my ASD Mommy friends and their boys and girls who inspire us and help us each day.
Thank you to the therapists and doctors who play a huge part in the success Deqlan is going to be.
Our precious Deqlan we could carry on forever with all the things that are so unique and that we love and adore about you - you are our gift and we couldnt be prouder of you. Know that we are always always here for you - there may be tough days where people dont understand why you do the things you do and thats why we are going to do everything we can to create awarness so people can enjoy the amazing journey you are on to and learn from it and help others! A little bit of understanding goes a very loonnngg way!
We love you more then life itself, you are our everything, thank you for being the gift in our lives, may God continue to protect guide love nurture and heal you always keep you NED.
May He continue to guide us and show us the best ways to help us help you reach your full potential
All our love and more each day
Dada and Mama


rhenda Elsayed said...

what an amazing mom you are!and you have a wonderful supporting family it is a blessing. I will always pray for Deqlan that he remains NED and always remember that every obsticle that he conquers in life only makes him stronger not only him but his family too.may you stay strong forever, thank you so much for the support you give us it really gives me a boost when i'm feeling down. God bless you all....take care

Nanna and Grandpa said...

To a Treasured and Cherished Family, Darling Samm, Mark,Deqlan and Logan,

To Samm and Mark

What a beautiful tribute you have written to Deqlan, on this World Autism Day 2009. I salute you both for the way and manner in which you have accepted your challenges and have consciously chosen to convert each and every one of these into a blessing, beyond description. You respect, acknowledge, revere and cherish the totality and uniqueness that is Deqlan. Your tribute is an exquisite, inspirational and powerful essay in what can only be described as the greatest and most humble portrayal of a mother's and father's unconditional love for an adored son. Deqlan will read this one day, Samm and Mark and I predict he will have a copy that he will store away somewhere very safe and read it many times during his lifetime. It will have new meaning each and every time he reads it and the relevance will just grow and grow as he gets older. Deqlan is truly blessed to have you as his cherished parents. We have, in awe, witnessed the sacrifices you have made, presently make and will continue to make in the future. Your "rewards" have been magnificent - the content of your essay is proof of that ! Today when we released the blue balloon with our messages attached for Deqlan on Autism Day, we observed with delight the release of the balloon into the blue sky, high enough into the clouds till we could no longer see it - we were certain it had reached God. Deqlan watching his balloon was one of those moments that we will never forget and we brand such images into the very fabric of our brain and psyche. Our darling Samm and Mark, you are bravely and courageously walking this journey with our Great and Merciful God as your Guide, Mentor and Instructor, therefore He will always KNOW your challenges, He will give you everything you need for the passage, He will provide the answers you search for through His word, He will shower you with wisdom through all your experiences and His promises will sustain you for eternity. You will be BLESSED all the days of your life. Your contributions to increasing the knowledge of and understand for ASD are going to be monumental and life-saving to other parents. Samm and Mark, YOU ARE LOVED.

To darling Logan, as Deqlan's big sister, you have already, at your tender age of 7 years, demonstrated understanding, acceptance and love and you, too will be "rewarded" for this act of love and kindness. You will soon see Deqlan embracing your role in his life in more ways that will make you feel proud and protective. God bless you Logs, you are a very special little girl and we love you very much.

To our precious Deqlan,

Some of the greatest lessons of our lives have been learnt at your little feet. There is no doubt, we will continue to be graced by more lessons and wisdom from you. Like your Mama and Dada, we also celebrate your uniqueness and sometimes marvel at the way you seem to perceive this world of ours - directly, no-baggage or strings attached, no need to impress anyone, no need to "go with the flow", "what you see is what you get", the same every day (where's the need to change ?), no preconceived ideas, and that "everything is as it should be". Isn't there a lesson in this for ALL of us to learn from you ?

You have also been the "human instrument" to teach us to count our blessings, one by one, every day, in every way, on every level, never to take anything or anyone for granted, to delight in examining the colours of flowers, to see the mist off the sand you throw, to watch the ripples in the water after your rocks have hit the pond, to imagine patterns with rice-throwing, and to live every moment of life with enthusiasm, passion and excitement.
The initials ASD to us simply mean for you - ADORED and SPECIAL DEQLAN. We love you beyond measure and with our hope,faith and trust in our Great God, another miracle will be surely witnessed. It will be proclaimed the day you are "pulled through the window" and are no longer placed on the spectrum. We await that day with the same belief that we have in all God's promises to us. God bless you always and may He forever keep you NED. Little MASTER and Man FULL of PRAYER, we give great and humble thanks for the great blessing you are in our lives, Deqlan Ross.

All Our Love,

Mom/Bev and Dee
Nanna and Grandpa

Ferreira Family said...

What a stunning letter! You have me in absolute tears.. You are one amazing mommy Samm, don't ever forget that.

Deqlan is one amazing little man with so much uniqueness about him.. I must add that I really enjoy watching him run around when we get round to a quick visit - it is really amazing..

have a great day!

Anonymous said...

Sammy my friend, you still have it...the ability to make me cry at the beautiful words you have written to Deqlan. You guys are the most amazing parents, not only to Deqlan, but Logie bear too. We miss you more than words can possibly say, and I look forward to the day that I can play with Deqlan in his 'line up' game, and watch Mia and Logs as they play together too. Love you guys tons.
Sam xxxx