Hi Deqlans Prayer army
thanks so much for your prayers ans messages for Deqlan today. We are home and Deqlan is happy!
He was such a star not being able to drink, he did ask for milk 4 or 5 times and i just said ' MAMA SO SILLY I FORGOT IT AT HOME! WILL GET SOME FOR YOU NOW NOW' and he seemed ok with that....
We did loads more reading last night and discovered how bad nitrous oxide can be for kids with autism- he hampers methylation - the bodies way of getting rid of toxins. I made contact with 3 families use kids regressed ( lost all the skills they gained) after having anesthetic! My Mom even called Debbie and Jeff in Canada to get their opinion, Jeff runs his own dental practise . He doesnt even keep it in his practise - he also advised how neuro toxic it can be! Thank you guys for helping us in our decision for today!
So there was no way Mark and I were willing to chance this happening. We were not evens sure if we were going to go ahead this morning . We kept asking God for a sign that we were doing the right thing
Off we went, Dada, Mama, Nanna and Deqlan to Protea Netcare , very bright and early this morning and were so amazed by the very caring understanding staff. It was really a refreshing experience. We had a very in depth chat with the anethetist who was very understanding about all our concerns and was more then willing not to use nitrous oxide but another gas called sevoflurane! BINGO! My first confirmation from God this was all going to be ok - the other autism moms suggested using this one as the body is able to git rid of it easier!
Then it was time for Deqlan to go into theatre and brave Dada was the one as always, to take Deqlan in. Of course Mama had a few tears , but then Nanna quickly brought me back on track to continue having Faith in Our Lords plans for Deqlan NOT TO HARM HIM!!
Mark told me that Deqlan was given a sticker in theater and guess what sticker it was? A FROG! Thank You Lord for another sign of re assurance
After about an hour and a half our little superstar was wheeled out - not happy at all, and coughing a very raspy sounding cough. He was very upset and we tried hard to calm him, eventually after some juice and watching some Thomas, and cuddly with me, he calmed and fell asleep again. When Deqlan woke up we got him some Macdonalds chips and he wolfed them down!He is now playing and watching his dvds singing and talking and laughing, THANK YOU LORD!!
Dr Nicky and her mom, who is also her assistant came to say hi before we left. Luckily we didnt leave this any longer, an abcess has started on the left molar! So Deqlan on antibiotics for that - luckily we have another round of diflucan due to start Monday , so that will help him cope with that. She took at the nerves of two molars and filled them, also had to take the nerves out of the front two teeth, which she also filled and cleaned - they look beautiful!!! What an amazing dentist , with such a passion for children, i would recommened her to everyone! Thank you Dr Nicky for making this as stress free as possible for us, you are amazing!
Thank You Nanna for all your hard work in making sure we made the right decisions for Deqlan. Thank You My love for putting up with me when i am very stressed and for helping us to make the right decision. Thank You Deqlan for being our beautiful , brave, courageous, clever, cute, gorgeous boy - thank You for bringing me through today, we love you more then life itself! Thank You Lord for always answering our prayers as we pray for them, for guiding us in the right directions, for healing Deqlan, we love and worship and praise and honor You each moment of every day!
Thank you all for your loving prayers and support, we love you Deqlans prayer army, he sends you all a biggg hug !
God Bless, all our love
Mark Samm Deqlan Logan
REJOICE IN THE LORD ALWAYS AND AGAIN I SAY REJOICE
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Prayers for Deqlan for tommorow please
Hello Deqlans prayer army
I know i am very very behind with our blog, but promise to update on all i cant to update on as soon as i can. More importantly, please can I ask you to say extra special prayers for Deqlan tommorow as he goes into theatre to have his teeth fixed.
We have to be there at 7am, Dr Nicky will do what she does best to repair Deqlans teeth , his molars and front teeth at 8am. It should take an hour and then as soon as Deqlan is awake and happy we can come home!
We are going to a day clinic in Krugersdorp as that is where Dr Nicky has her theatre space as well as the aneathetist she works with. So its going to be a VERY early start for us tommorow morning.
I have already chatted to them both, with close on 1 hundred questions each, included what is going to be used to put Deqlan under anaesthetic - we found some literature that suggests nitrous oxide can be harmful in kids with autism and can cause them to regress!!!!!!!!!!! So He has agreed to use different gases just in case. We will still want to have another final chat with him when we see him in the morning to be 111000000000% sure , but the best surity we have is that Our Lord will be taking the very best care of Deqlan as He always has,and as He always will.
Please pray that Deqlan doesn’t get to upset by not being able to drink and eat
Please pray he doesn’t get frightened and scared by the new environment of the day clinic and new faces
Please pray that the anaesthetist does the best job he has ever done and that the gases he uses has no negative effects on Deqlan
Please Lord will you work through Dr Nicky’s hands and let her be able to fix Deqlans teeth quickly and properly
Please Lord let Deqlan wake up feeling ok and still in fantastic health and let this resolve all his teeth problems that have been bothering him
Please pray for Mark and Me and Nanna as we wait for Deqlan that we continue to put all our trust and faith into Gods hands knowing He is taking the very best care of Deqlan always
Promise to update soon as I can
Thank you so much, God Bless and love
Mark Samm Deqlan Logan
P.S - LOTS OF NEUROBLASTOMA FIGHTERS NEEDING EXTRA SPECIAL PRAYERS RIGHT NOW
CARTER
IMOGEN
DAXTON
MELINA
NICK
QUINCY
YLARIA
'FOR I KNOW THE PLANS I HAVE FOR YOU ', DECLARES THE LORD.' PLANS TO PROSPER YOU AND NOT TO HARM YOU, PLANS TO GIVE YOU HOPE AND A FUTURE' JEREMIAH 29;11
I know i am very very behind with our blog, but promise to update on all i cant to update on as soon as i can. More importantly, please can I ask you to say extra special prayers for Deqlan tommorow as he goes into theatre to have his teeth fixed.
We have to be there at 7am, Dr Nicky will do what she does best to repair Deqlans teeth , his molars and front teeth at 8am. It should take an hour and then as soon as Deqlan is awake and happy we can come home!
We are going to a day clinic in Krugersdorp as that is where Dr Nicky has her theatre space as well as the aneathetist she works with. So its going to be a VERY early start for us tommorow morning.
I have already chatted to them both, with close on 1 hundred questions each, included what is going to be used to put Deqlan under anaesthetic - we found some literature that suggests nitrous oxide can be harmful in kids with autism and can cause them to regress!!!!!!!!!!! So He has agreed to use different gases just in case. We will still want to have another final chat with him when we see him in the morning to be 111000000000% sure , but the best surity we have is that Our Lord will be taking the very best care of Deqlan as He always has,and as He always will.
Please pray that Deqlan doesn’t get to upset by not being able to drink and eat
Please pray he doesn’t get frightened and scared by the new environment of the day clinic and new faces
Please pray that the anaesthetist does the best job he has ever done and that the gases he uses has no negative effects on Deqlan
Please Lord will you work through Dr Nicky’s hands and let her be able to fix Deqlans teeth quickly and properly
Please Lord let Deqlan wake up feeling ok and still in fantastic health and let this resolve all his teeth problems that have been bothering him
Please pray for Mark and Me and Nanna as we wait for Deqlan that we continue to put all our trust and faith into Gods hands knowing He is taking the very best care of Deqlan always
Promise to update soon as I can
Thank you so much, God Bless and love
Mark Samm Deqlan Logan
P.S - LOTS OF NEUROBLASTOMA FIGHTERS NEEDING EXTRA SPECIAL PRAYERS RIGHT NOW
CARTER
IMOGEN
DAXTON
MELINA
NICK
QUINCY
YLARIA
'FOR I KNOW THE PLANS I HAVE FOR YOU ', DECLARES THE LORD.' PLANS TO PROSPER YOU AND NOT TO HARM YOU, PLANS TO GIVE YOU HOPE AND A FUTURE' JEREMIAH 29;11
A HAIR DRYER KID IN A TOASTER BRAINED WORLD
Wanted to share this with you all, thanks Loren for sending on from the blog of MOM - NOT OTHERWISE SPECIFIED
Saturday, March 13, 2010
A hair-dryer kid in a toaster-brained world
Okay, so: the presentation.First, I should tell you that we orchestrated it with the stealth of CIA operatives. We didn't want Bud to see me in the building, because we knew that my presence would be difficult for him. (Mom does not belong in school. Mom should only be here when she has come to take me home.) We all synchronized our watches, and as lunchtime approached, Mrs. Nee walked Bud to the lunchroom, where he was meeting another staff member, and Ms. Walker readied the classroom, while a student, Noelle, helped me slip in the side door and up the back staircase.While we waited for a few students to return to the class with their hot lunches, Ms. Walker let me know that they'd told the children a little bit about my blog, read them a few excerpts, and let them know that people all over the world read about their classroom. The kids were delighted to know that they had fans, and even more delighted by the idea that they'd been given pseudonyms when I wrote about them. It seems they'd had some fun trying to figure out who was who.Then, the children returned with their lunches and settled at their desks, which had been arranged in a circle. I sat down to join them, and it was time to begin.I started by thanking them for inviting me to their class. "I hope you know," I said, "that you are really, really important people to Bud. He doesn't always show friendship the way other people do, but believe me - you are important to him. He talks about you all the time. He tells me all about his buddies. And he loves having buddies."They grinned their response."I also want to thank you for asking such great questions." I held up their index cards. "Your questions were fantastic, and they tell me that you really pay attention to Bud."Dan raised his hand. "I wasn't here the day they wrote cards," he said. "But I do have some questions.""That's great, " I told him. "How about if I answer the questions that other people have asked first, and then if I haven't answered your questions, you can ask me more about them."Dan agreed, and I turned to the rest of the class. "You can all ask more questions. Sometimes when something seems different, people can get nervous about asking questions, but I want you to know that I want you to ask questions. It's the best way to learn about things you don't understand."My intro was over and it was time to get into my answers to the questions they'd written. I'd prepared ten pages of notes. I wanted to help the kids understand Bud's differences, but I didn't want to present him as "other," as though he were an alien living among them, as though there were something wrong with him, so I'd developed some analogies - some things that I hoped would help them relate Bud's experience to their own.The first one felt the riskiest. It was my make-or-break analogy - the one on which the rest of the presentation hinged. If it didn't resonate with them - or, worse, if it seemed lame - I was afraid I'd lose them. I knew that one ill-placed snarky comment from one of the kids could make the whole thing unravel.So I took a breath, and I started talking."The first question that lots and lots of you asked is: What is autism?"Autism is something that people are born with – you either have autism or you don’t have it. You can’t catch it."Having autism means that your brain is put together differently. Your brain still works perfectly well. It just does things differently from other people’s brains."Let’s think about the brain as a machine. You know that your brain controls everything you do. You use your brain to think about things and to make your body do things. Your brain also controls things that you don’t even think about. You don’t have to remember to breathe, because your brain does it automatically for you. You don’t have to remember to blink, because your brain does it. So, sometimes you USE your brain to do things and sometimes your brain just does things because that’s what it’s wired to do."The same thing is true in autism. Bud uses his brain for everything, too. But because there are differences in the way his brain is connected, there are differences in the way his brain reacts to things."Now, we all know that your brain is a machine that's made of tissue and neurons and nerve cells. But let’s pretend it was a more simple machine. Let’s pretend your brain wasn't made of tissue and neurons and nerve cells, but instead, it was made of metal and plastic and electrical wires. And let's pretend that when you put that metal and plastic and electrical wire together, it turned into a toaster."Here, the class laughed - the good kind of laughter. I carried on. They were with me."And let’s pretend that MOST of us had toaster brains. Some of us might make white toast and some wheat toast or rye toast, and some of us might make light toast and some of us dark toast. Some of us might only toast bagels, and sometimes we might even burn the toast, but for the most part, all of our brains would be able to do the same thing: make toast."Now, think about the pretend world that we have just created. In our world, MOST people have toaster brains. So, when we make the rules for our world and decide how we want to spend our time, what do you think we’ll decide is the MOST important thing a person can do?"Nora raised her hand. "Always try hard and do our very best?""Yes!" I said. "And WHEN we do our very best, we will be doing a great job making...""Toast!" they responded in unison."Yes! Because we have brains that are really GOOD at making toast - so we will want to have a world where it's REALLY important and REALLY valuable to make toast. Right?"Heads nodded around the room."Now let’s pretend that Bud’s brain is ALSO made of metal and plastic and electrical wires, just like our brains, except that when HIS metal and plastic and electrical wires get put together, they turn into a totally different kind of machine. Instead of being a TOASTER, Bud's metal and plastic and electrical wires turn into a HAIR DRYER."I swear, I heard gasps."Now, there’s nothing WRONG with a hair dryer, right? Hair dryers are great! There are some things that hair dryers are really good for. There are some things that a hair dryer can do even BETTER than a toaster. But it is REALLY, REALLY hard to make toast with a hair dryer."They laughed again, and nodded, and totally, completely got it."So, in our pretend world, even though Bud has a perfectly wonderful hair dryer brain, it’s going to be hard for him, because we toaster-brained people have decided that the most important thing that people do in our world is make toast. And Bud probably can make toast with his hair dryer, right? But he is going to have to work a lot harder to make toast with his hair-dryer brain than we will with our toaster brains. It will probably take him a lot longer to make his toast. And no matter how hard he works, his hair-dryer toast will probably always look different from our toaster toast."The room filled with murmurs of understanding."But, on the other hand - think about THIS! When we toaster-brain people have wet hair? We are REALLY going to hope that Bud and his hair-dryer brain are around."Nathan piped in. "Because we could get ZAPPED if we tried to use our toasters!""Exactly," I continued. "And the same thing is true in the real world with our real brains, that are made of tissue and neurons and grey matter and, uh...""And important stuff," offered Travis."Yeah, and important stuff," I said. "Because for most of us, when that important stuff gets put together, we have a certain type of brain. And we have created a society that says the most important things are the things that most of our brains are really good at - things like:"Talking and communicating with people;"Making friends and spending time with people;"Doing lots of different kinds of things, having lots of different kinds of interests, and trying new things."Because our brains are really GOOD at those things, we try to spend most of our time doing them. But those are all things that, because of his autism, Bud’s brain has a really hard time doing."Language is difficult for him and he doesn't talk the same way as other people."Being social and knowing how to interact with people is difficult."Changing his routine and trying new things is difficult."The classroom resonated with affirmation. Bud's classmates knew exactly what I was talking about. They knew, without me explaining any further, what kinds of behaviors I was talking about. I could see the understanding in their faces."But, remember how there were some things that the hair-dryer brains could do better than the toaster brains? There are ALSO things that Bud’s brain is really GOOD at doing. There are things that HIS brain can do better than a lot of our brains can do."I bet you can guess what some of those things are. Can you?"Hands flew up all over the room, and without my prompting, they recreated the list I had written in the notes in front of me."He's really great on the computer. He's better at it than LOTS of people.""He has great hearing.""He can remember lots of lots of things.""He can remember all the words to TV shows.""And he can remember the words to songs.""He is very musical.""He's a great speller, too," I added. "Once he learns a word, he usually remembers how to spell it.""If I had a brain like that," said Nathan. "I'd read the whole dictionary and learn all the words.""That would be a great thing to do," I said. "And it reminds me that Bud is also a really good reader."Molly raised her hand. "And he has a great sense of humor, too.""He does have a great sense of humor," I said. "And that's one of the ways that his brain is a lot like other people's. What are some of the other ways that Bud is just like everyone else?"Again, the hands flew up."He can see just like everyone else.""He looks just like everyone else.""He's human.""Yes! He's human - which means that he has all the same feelings that everyone else does. And he loves the people in his life. And he likes to play and have fun. He likes to laugh, he likes to swim, he likes to eat pizza. In lots of ways, Bud is just a regular kid."I looked around the room at the smiling faces of Bud's classmates - his friends, with their toaster-brains firing."But a lot of your questions were about some of the ways that Bud is different from you and about the things that are harder for him than they are for a lot of other toaster-brained people. So, let’s talk about some of those questions."
Saturday, March 13, 2010
A hair-dryer kid in a toaster-brained world
Okay, so: the presentation.First, I should tell you that we orchestrated it with the stealth of CIA operatives. We didn't want Bud to see me in the building, because we knew that my presence would be difficult for him. (Mom does not belong in school. Mom should only be here when she has come to take me home.) We all synchronized our watches, and as lunchtime approached, Mrs. Nee walked Bud to the lunchroom, where he was meeting another staff member, and Ms. Walker readied the classroom, while a student, Noelle, helped me slip in the side door and up the back staircase.While we waited for a few students to return to the class with their hot lunches, Ms. Walker let me know that they'd told the children a little bit about my blog, read them a few excerpts, and let them know that people all over the world read about their classroom. The kids were delighted to know that they had fans, and even more delighted by the idea that they'd been given pseudonyms when I wrote about them. It seems they'd had some fun trying to figure out who was who.Then, the children returned with their lunches and settled at their desks, which had been arranged in a circle. I sat down to join them, and it was time to begin.I started by thanking them for inviting me to their class. "I hope you know," I said, "that you are really, really important people to Bud. He doesn't always show friendship the way other people do, but believe me - you are important to him. He talks about you all the time. He tells me all about his buddies. And he loves having buddies."They grinned their response."I also want to thank you for asking such great questions." I held up their index cards. "Your questions were fantastic, and they tell me that you really pay attention to Bud."Dan raised his hand. "I wasn't here the day they wrote cards," he said. "But I do have some questions.""That's great, " I told him. "How about if I answer the questions that other people have asked first, and then if I haven't answered your questions, you can ask me more about them."Dan agreed, and I turned to the rest of the class. "You can all ask more questions. Sometimes when something seems different, people can get nervous about asking questions, but I want you to know that I want you to ask questions. It's the best way to learn about things you don't understand."My intro was over and it was time to get into my answers to the questions they'd written. I'd prepared ten pages of notes. I wanted to help the kids understand Bud's differences, but I didn't want to present him as "other," as though he were an alien living among them, as though there were something wrong with him, so I'd developed some analogies - some things that I hoped would help them relate Bud's experience to their own.The first one felt the riskiest. It was my make-or-break analogy - the one on which the rest of the presentation hinged. If it didn't resonate with them - or, worse, if it seemed lame - I was afraid I'd lose them. I knew that one ill-placed snarky comment from one of the kids could make the whole thing unravel.So I took a breath, and I started talking."The first question that lots and lots of you asked is: What is autism?"Autism is something that people are born with – you either have autism or you don’t have it. You can’t catch it."Having autism means that your brain is put together differently. Your brain still works perfectly well. It just does things differently from other people’s brains."Let’s think about the brain as a machine. You know that your brain controls everything you do. You use your brain to think about things and to make your body do things. Your brain also controls things that you don’t even think about. You don’t have to remember to breathe, because your brain does it automatically for you. You don’t have to remember to blink, because your brain does it. So, sometimes you USE your brain to do things and sometimes your brain just does things because that’s what it’s wired to do."The same thing is true in autism. Bud uses his brain for everything, too. But because there are differences in the way his brain is connected, there are differences in the way his brain reacts to things."Now, we all know that your brain is a machine that's made of tissue and neurons and nerve cells. But let’s pretend it was a more simple machine. Let’s pretend your brain wasn't made of tissue and neurons and nerve cells, but instead, it was made of metal and plastic and electrical wires. And let's pretend that when you put that metal and plastic and electrical wire together, it turned into a toaster."Here, the class laughed - the good kind of laughter. I carried on. They were with me."And let’s pretend that MOST of us had toaster brains. Some of us might make white toast and some wheat toast or rye toast, and some of us might make light toast and some of us dark toast. Some of us might only toast bagels, and sometimes we might even burn the toast, but for the most part, all of our brains would be able to do the same thing: make toast."Now, think about the pretend world that we have just created. In our world, MOST people have toaster brains. So, when we make the rules for our world and decide how we want to spend our time, what do you think we’ll decide is the MOST important thing a person can do?"Nora raised her hand. "Always try hard and do our very best?""Yes!" I said. "And WHEN we do our very best, we will be doing a great job making...""Toast!" they responded in unison."Yes! Because we have brains that are really GOOD at making toast - so we will want to have a world where it's REALLY important and REALLY valuable to make toast. Right?"Heads nodded around the room."Now let’s pretend that Bud’s brain is ALSO made of metal and plastic and electrical wires, just like our brains, except that when HIS metal and plastic and electrical wires get put together, they turn into a totally different kind of machine. Instead of being a TOASTER, Bud's metal and plastic and electrical wires turn into a HAIR DRYER."I swear, I heard gasps."Now, there’s nothing WRONG with a hair dryer, right? Hair dryers are great! There are some things that hair dryers are really good for. There are some things that a hair dryer can do even BETTER than a toaster. But it is REALLY, REALLY hard to make toast with a hair dryer."They laughed again, and nodded, and totally, completely got it."So, in our pretend world, even though Bud has a perfectly wonderful hair dryer brain, it’s going to be hard for him, because we toaster-brained people have decided that the most important thing that people do in our world is make toast. And Bud probably can make toast with his hair dryer, right? But he is going to have to work a lot harder to make toast with his hair-dryer brain than we will with our toaster brains. It will probably take him a lot longer to make his toast. And no matter how hard he works, his hair-dryer toast will probably always look different from our toaster toast."The room filled with murmurs of understanding."But, on the other hand - think about THIS! When we toaster-brain people have wet hair? We are REALLY going to hope that Bud and his hair-dryer brain are around."Nathan piped in. "Because we could get ZAPPED if we tried to use our toasters!""Exactly," I continued. "And the same thing is true in the real world with our real brains, that are made of tissue and neurons and grey matter and, uh...""And important stuff," offered Travis."Yeah, and important stuff," I said. "Because for most of us, when that important stuff gets put together, we have a certain type of brain. And we have created a society that says the most important things are the things that most of our brains are really good at - things like:"Talking and communicating with people;"Making friends and spending time with people;"Doing lots of different kinds of things, having lots of different kinds of interests, and trying new things."Because our brains are really GOOD at those things, we try to spend most of our time doing them. But those are all things that, because of his autism, Bud’s brain has a really hard time doing."Language is difficult for him and he doesn't talk the same way as other people."Being social and knowing how to interact with people is difficult."Changing his routine and trying new things is difficult."The classroom resonated with affirmation. Bud's classmates knew exactly what I was talking about. They knew, without me explaining any further, what kinds of behaviors I was talking about. I could see the understanding in their faces."But, remember how there were some things that the hair-dryer brains could do better than the toaster brains? There are ALSO things that Bud’s brain is really GOOD at doing. There are things that HIS brain can do better than a lot of our brains can do."I bet you can guess what some of those things are. Can you?"Hands flew up all over the room, and without my prompting, they recreated the list I had written in the notes in front of me."He's really great on the computer. He's better at it than LOTS of people.""He has great hearing.""He can remember lots of lots of things.""He can remember all the words to TV shows.""And he can remember the words to songs.""He is very musical.""He's a great speller, too," I added. "Once he learns a word, he usually remembers how to spell it.""If I had a brain like that," said Nathan. "I'd read the whole dictionary and learn all the words.""That would be a great thing to do," I said. "And it reminds me that Bud is also a really good reader."Molly raised her hand. "And he has a great sense of humor, too.""He does have a great sense of humor," I said. "And that's one of the ways that his brain is a lot like other people's. What are some of the other ways that Bud is just like everyone else?"Again, the hands flew up."He can see just like everyone else.""He looks just like everyone else.""He's human.""Yes! He's human - which means that he has all the same feelings that everyone else does. And he loves the people in his life. And he likes to play and have fun. He likes to laugh, he likes to swim, he likes to eat pizza. In lots of ways, Bud is just a regular kid."I looked around the room at the smiling faces of Bud's classmates - his friends, with their toaster-brains firing."But a lot of your questions were about some of the ways that Bud is different from you and about the things that are harder for him than they are for a lot of other toaster-brained people. So, let’s talk about some of those questions."
Monday, April 19, 2010
A day in the life of autism
Please take a few minutes of your time to watch the following clip ...to get a taste of whats is like for those affected by autism...please create awareness and please support all the drives you can to help us help recover our kids!
http://www.theautismnews.com/2010/04/17/a-day-in-the-life-autism/
http://www.theautismnews.com/2010/04/17/a-day-in-the-life-autism/
Friday, April 16, 2010
A beautiful post
By Bob Allen ABP
CINCINNATI – Now a nationally recognized author and speaker in the field of disability ministry, Kathleen Deyer Bolduc says she was unprepared to parent a special-needs child before the birth of her third son. Now 24, Joel has autism, intellectual disabilities and an anxiety disorder. She tells the story of their life together in Autism & Alleluias, a new book by Judson Press.
“There is a lot of pain involved in parenting a child with autism,” Bolduc said in an April webcast scheduled during Autism Awareness Month to promote her new book. “There’s a lot of joy, but I think we’re kidding ourselves if we don’t look at the grief that’s involved.”
“I can also say at the same time that living with autism, more than anything else in my life, has brought me to a closer relationship with God,” she said. “It really has brought me to a gut-level understanding of the Lord’s words to Paul in Second Corinthians, when he said that ‘My grace is sufficient for you. My power is made perfect in weakness.’”
“Once I came to an acceptance of that truth, once I figured out that I couldn’t do it all on my own, that I needed God’s power to gift me with the strength I needed to parent Joel, Joel became one of the most spiritual teachers in my life,” she said.
In one of the stories told in the book, Bolduc describes a particularly harrowing morning that started with Joel rushing out of the house barefoot and in his pajamas with the temperature in the 30s. It escalated into an emotional meltdown for Joel and reduced her to tears. Approaching her and reaching a hand toward her, instead of grabbing for her glasses as he sometimes does when he is anxious, Joel patted her face. “We need Jesus,” he said.
“We do need Jesus,” Bolduc said in the webcast. “And Jesus is with Joel no matter how difficult things get.”
Bolduc said the most important spiritual lesson her son has taught her is that God’s love is unconditional.
“God loves me just as I am. I don’t have to try so hard,” she said. “And God loves Joel just the way he is. I don’t have to fix Joel. God loves him just as he is. Such a huge burden lifted with that realization.”
Bolduc said parents of children with disabilities long for a church where their sons and daughters are loved and accepted just as they are, regardless of their behavior or their ability to achieve. Those that do, she said, receive a lot in return.
When Joel was about 8 or 9, she says in the book, his behavior caused Bolduc and her husband to give up on sending him to Sunday school. They learned that if they sat on the front row, where he could not kick the pew in front of him, they could usually make it at least through the congregational singing.
During communion, she said Joel would typically act out in ways so that it “was not really a spiritual experience, to say the least.” One particular Sunday, however, the pastor raised the plate in the air and recited, “This is the body of Christ, broken for you” and then the cup, saying “and this is the blood of Christ, poured out that you might live.”
Joel stood up and clapped his hands to his chest and said: “For me! For me!” He turned around and said the same thing to the people behind him.
“Joel gave a gift to the whole church that day, when he turned around,” Bolduc recalled. “He was announcing to everybody: ‘Wake up! Open up your eyes and look at the sacrament with brand new eyes. This is for you and this is for me. This is for all of us together.’ I think it was just an amazing lesson that my son had to teach the congregation that day.”
Another teachable moment came when Bolduc’s family had made a commitment to attend an African-American congregation honoring Martin Luther King Jr. During the music, Joel did what he usually did in their Presbyterian church. He worshiped with his whole body, bouncing and dancing in the aisle. This time, though, others were doing it, too.
“A proverbial light bulb went on in my head,” she said. “I thought, ‘You know, you just can’t fit a square peg into a round hole.’ All of these years of trying to make Joel fit into our worship service, it’s craziness.”
That created a dilemma for the family. “Do we leave a church that we love, or do we try to help the church see what Joel has to bring?” They chose the latter.
“I’m glad to say that our church has changed,” Bolduc said. “And I like to think that it’s changed partially because of Joel — and Peter and Jeremy and Matt, who are three other guys with developmental disabilities — and what they’ve brought to us.
“We have a contemporary service now that is much more relaxed,” she said. “Matt walks around and greets people. He doesn’t care what part of the service it is; if he sees you and he hasn’t said ‘hi’ yet, he’s coming on up. Peter dances during the worship songs.
“Joel stands up when everyone else is sitting down, if he wants to, and people are telling me, quite often, how much joy they get out of worshiping with Joel, Peter, Matt and Jeremy. There are some real gifts if we open up our eyes to them.”
“Joel has changed me, and Joel has changed our church,” Bolduc said. “If you open up your hands and your hearts and your minds and your attitudes, and you open up your church doors to those with disability, transformation will take place.”
Kathleen Bolduc
Autism & Alleluias
* Paperback: 144 pages* Publisher: Judson Pr; Original edition (February 15, 2010)* Language: English* ISBN-10: 081701568X* ISBN-13: 978-0817015688* Product Dimensions: 6.8 x 5 x 0.5 inches
Source: http://www.abpnews.com/content/view/5050/53/
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CINCINNATI – Now a nationally recognized author and speaker in the field of disability ministry, Kathleen Deyer Bolduc says she was unprepared to parent a special-needs child before the birth of her third son. Now 24, Joel has autism, intellectual disabilities and an anxiety disorder. She tells the story of their life together in Autism & Alleluias, a new book by Judson Press.
“There is a lot of pain involved in parenting a child with autism,” Bolduc said in an April webcast scheduled during Autism Awareness Month to promote her new book. “There’s a lot of joy, but I think we’re kidding ourselves if we don’t look at the grief that’s involved.”
“I can also say at the same time that living with autism, more than anything else in my life, has brought me to a closer relationship with God,” she said. “It really has brought me to a gut-level understanding of the Lord’s words to Paul in Second Corinthians, when he said that ‘My grace is sufficient for you. My power is made perfect in weakness.’”
“Once I came to an acceptance of that truth, once I figured out that I couldn’t do it all on my own, that I needed God’s power to gift me with the strength I needed to parent Joel, Joel became one of the most spiritual teachers in my life,” she said.
In one of the stories told in the book, Bolduc describes a particularly harrowing morning that started with Joel rushing out of the house barefoot and in his pajamas with the temperature in the 30s. It escalated into an emotional meltdown for Joel and reduced her to tears. Approaching her and reaching a hand toward her, instead of grabbing for her glasses as he sometimes does when he is anxious, Joel patted her face. “We need Jesus,” he said.
“We do need Jesus,” Bolduc said in the webcast. “And Jesus is with Joel no matter how difficult things get.”
Bolduc said the most important spiritual lesson her son has taught her is that God’s love is unconditional.
“God loves me just as I am. I don’t have to try so hard,” she said. “And God loves Joel just the way he is. I don’t have to fix Joel. God loves him just as he is. Such a huge burden lifted with that realization.”
Bolduc said parents of children with disabilities long for a church where their sons and daughters are loved and accepted just as they are, regardless of their behavior or their ability to achieve. Those that do, she said, receive a lot in return.
When Joel was about 8 or 9, she says in the book, his behavior caused Bolduc and her husband to give up on sending him to Sunday school. They learned that if they sat on the front row, where he could not kick the pew in front of him, they could usually make it at least through the congregational singing.
During communion, she said Joel would typically act out in ways so that it “was not really a spiritual experience, to say the least.” One particular Sunday, however, the pastor raised the plate in the air and recited, “This is the body of Christ, broken for you” and then the cup, saying “and this is the blood of Christ, poured out that you might live.”
Joel stood up and clapped his hands to his chest and said: “For me! For me!” He turned around and said the same thing to the people behind him.
“Joel gave a gift to the whole church that day, when he turned around,” Bolduc recalled. “He was announcing to everybody: ‘Wake up! Open up your eyes and look at the sacrament with brand new eyes. This is for you and this is for me. This is for all of us together.’ I think it was just an amazing lesson that my son had to teach the congregation that day.”
Another teachable moment came when Bolduc’s family had made a commitment to attend an African-American congregation honoring Martin Luther King Jr. During the music, Joel did what he usually did in their Presbyterian church. He worshiped with his whole body, bouncing and dancing in the aisle. This time, though, others were doing it, too.
“A proverbial light bulb went on in my head,” she said. “I thought, ‘You know, you just can’t fit a square peg into a round hole.’ All of these years of trying to make Joel fit into our worship service, it’s craziness.”
That created a dilemma for the family. “Do we leave a church that we love, or do we try to help the church see what Joel has to bring?” They chose the latter.
“I’m glad to say that our church has changed,” Bolduc said. “And I like to think that it’s changed partially because of Joel — and Peter and Jeremy and Matt, who are three other guys with developmental disabilities — and what they’ve brought to us.
“We have a contemporary service now that is much more relaxed,” she said. “Matt walks around and greets people. He doesn’t care what part of the service it is; if he sees you and he hasn’t said ‘hi’ yet, he’s coming on up. Peter dances during the worship songs.
“Joel stands up when everyone else is sitting down, if he wants to, and people are telling me, quite often, how much joy they get out of worshiping with Joel, Peter, Matt and Jeremy. There are some real gifts if we open up our eyes to them.”
“Joel has changed me, and Joel has changed our church,” Bolduc said. “If you open up your hands and your hearts and your minds and your attitudes, and you open up your church doors to those with disability, transformation will take place.”
Kathleen Bolduc
Autism & Alleluias
* Paperback: 144 pages* Publisher: Judson Pr; Original edition (February 15, 2010)* Language: English* ISBN-10: 081701568X* ISBN-13: 978-0817015688* Product Dimensions: 6.8 x 5 x 0.5 inches
Source: http://www.abpnews.com/content/view/5050/53/
Please share this news with friends, family and also with your contact list on Twitter, Facebook and MySpace.
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